She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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