I hate all girls vehemently.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
