Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
