I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize