Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
