her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize