I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just fell off a train. Bad.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
