Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
did i just pee glitter
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
