she was so not down for the gang bang
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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