i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize