Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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