I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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