Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
