the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
