I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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