made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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