dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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