There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
