Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
