Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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