You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
