I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
