bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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