I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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