I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
