my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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