its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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