she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
