i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
