i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
