Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hippo gnu deer
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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