dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
