He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
