Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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