Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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