i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
