yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
