the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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