I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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