thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
