Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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