I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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