i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
