Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize