I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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