There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
