guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
