Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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