Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Your penis caused this!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
