My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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