Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
