Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
