I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize