Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
