She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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