There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
