Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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