Your dad touched me again.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize