decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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