all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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