I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize