I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
