I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
