I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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