she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
