Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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