Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
